Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Ohhh, that's how y'all do it?

My grandmother is wonderful and she is very funny.  She has been quite gracious over the years about allowing us to laugh 'with' her.  She laughs a lot and she is perfectly comfortable laughing at herself.  She has taught me about why that is important.

She says funny things.  Often.  She says funny things and we latch onto them, and she has to hear them, repeated with a sarcasm only afforded to family members, for years and years.

A few years ago (I believe it was while playing cards), she said, "Oh, that's how y'all do it?  That's not how we do it.  We . . . . . "

Let me break this down for you.  Here is what it really means.  You poor thing; you do it like that?  Oh, Honey, precious darling, that's not the right way.  Let me tell you the right way to do it and then you'll know.

For instance, 'Oh you play cards like a bunch of morons under water?  Allow me to show how to really play.  There are rules.'

Or 'Sweetie, you actually cook in this kitchen?  I'll bring the correct accoutrement next time, so we can actually cook something.'

Do you get the picture?  She has an understanding of things in a way that little ole us just cannot grasp.  It's that simple.

Well, sometimes a granddaughter must borrow a phrase from her paternal grandmother, and so today I am putting her quip to good use.  Today I will be the one who really gets it and you will be the y'all.  Here goes . . .

Oh, that's how y'all do it?  You put a load of sorted laundry into the washer.  And then you swiftly change them to the dryer, pulling them out just ahead of the finish time to avoid wrinkling.  Then you gently take the fresh, clean clothes and gently place them upon a folding surface, flat and smooth and clear of debris.  And then you immediately set about folding them perfectly, while each clothing item is a morsel of springtime.  Next, of course, you move quickly and efficiently from room to room, lovingly stacking and arranging each loved one's latest cleansed wardrobe items in each photo-worthy closet.  

That's how you do it?  How odd.  How very odd.

That's not how we do it.   We throw a load of clothes into the washer on the way outside to deliver someone to somewhere and the wet laundry in the washer just has to sit at the end of the wash cycle, one moist piece upon the other.  

Next, we remember we need to change over the load to the dryer and we say a word or two that might not be acceptable in mixed company and we dash up the stairs towards the laundry room, barely missing the masses of abandoned items on the stairs.  

Then we transfer the clothes into the dryer, though a few smaller pieces fall out and land on the floor.  (We'll deal with them later, when we decide whether they are dirty and need to go into the washer or if the are clean and need to find their way to the dryer.)  

We forget about the lonely load by then, dismissing the finishing bell as some 'strange noise' we cannot explain.  

The clothes then spend some good, quality time inside the dryer.  The wrinkles set in while everyone in there gets to know each other better.  

Next, some someone, some desperate someone, in search of the one item that will make their outfit complete; pulls open the dryer door with the strength of the Jolly Green Giant and sticks a head into the dryer well to fetch said item.  At this point, a few more pieces from the load take their place in the floor.  Someone will deal with that later, this someone dreams.

Someone else comes along - someone attempting to be helpful - finds the long-left load in the dryer and lovingly wraps both arms around the wrinkled mess and whisks it away to the safety of the big white chair in Mama and Daddy's room.  

While upon the white chair, some of the laundry that is clean falls close to some of the clothes that were dirty, and there is a melding, a joining together, of these two very different animals.  It confuses us and so we walk away.

That's how WE do it!

And now for a word about yesterday's WHAT IS IT? photo contest.

The mystery photo looked like this:

And it was actually part of this:

There was no random drawing this morning between the correct answers - there were many guesses but only one was right!  Amy H. is the winner!  Yay!  Amy, would you like the photo session or  the accordian mini-album?

Thanks for playing, friends!

1 comment:

  1. Deana I always enjoy reading your blog. Often it makes me realize that there are other people in the world like myself especially this one about laundry. My ironing consists of turning the dryer back on until the wrinkles come out. Love your stories!


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